Document (verb): Record something in written, photographic, or other form
This is going to sound so mental, but hey ho, I AM a mental person now. Today I want to make a list of all of the things I should do the ‘next time’ I only get a short time with my baby.
I never thought about this before having Summer (because, let’s face it: who would?), but I have the chance to think about it now. And to get it right.
I know why I’m doing this, it’s not to guilt-trip myself, it’s genuinely so that I have a checklist to refer to, if ever I need it (says the lady who’s not even begun to think about trying again – see, mental).
- Say “I love you”
- Skin-to-skin contact
- Sing a nursery rhyme
- Play music
- Hold their hand
- Name them quickly
- Say their name
- Read a bedtime story
- Measure their height
- Take the hand and footprints yourself
- Leave something behind for/with them, something of yours
- Apologise
- Bring them home
- Weigh them
- Kiss them
- Keep them with you all night
- Tell them stories
- Photograph them, every which way
- Dress them
- Bath them
- Whisper a secret
- Tell them your favourite things about James
- Tell them the best things about yourself
- Snuggle
- Make videos
- Take a family photo
- Introduce them to some friends and family
- Be mindful: please try to remember everything
- Don’t sleep, don’t sleep, don’t sleep
If you want to add to this crazy lady’s list, you are genuinely welcome to. The more ideas the merrier.
I love this! You’ve managed to make it sound so upbeat, so thank you for that! Instagram sometimes just shows me all the things we didn’t do when our Jennifer was born. It’s much too late for us to make a list but I am so glad you have. And it’s so beautiful. Wouldn’t it be great if it got out there and became part of ordinary every day antenatal advice so that everyone is prepared for the unthinkable? xxx
Karen, I am so glad you don’t think I’m crazy! You know what I mean right? Yes, people (especially natural born planners like me!) would like to think about this in advance! When you look at the list, it’s just normal mum stuff, isn’t it. Perhaps we can both talk to our hospital bereavement units ‘next time’ they’re in contact xx
Tell them your favourite joke and chuckle at the punch line
Tell them about Rakhri, and the way when we were kids we would always look forward to it as kids (for different reasons) depending on gender
Tell them that dad will look after them, after you. Tell them he’s a kind man. And will keep them safe.
Last but not least… Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Crazy I know. But, hey! You’re a crazy lady! 😘😘
Everything that I wished I had done as well!
I just didn’t know what to do even though the midwives asked me everything and I said no. Thinking it was wrong to do. How wrong was I!
Great Post mama
You weren’t wrong Cora, you did exactly what was right for you both at the time Xx
As promised, here’s my addition to this awesome list:
Advocate. Advocate. Advocate. For yourself and for baby. This is YOUR experience and often the only one you’ll get with your baby. You have the right to advocate for yourself and for your sweet babe.
I wish I had but I trusted that medical professionals knew what they were doing more than me and I assumed they would have certain protocols but that turned out to not be true. Because of it, I have very deep seated regrets.