Fourth (numerical): Constituting of number four in a sequence Dear Friend, I don’t know how to do this, to write this blog that I have spent weeks attempting and abandoning in my head. Try as I might, there is no …
Words of Affirmation
Believe (verb): Accept that something is true, especially without proof I woke up today, with a word in my head: Believe I have a difficult relationship with HOPE, which I’ve blogged about previously. After three pregnancy losses, I just don’t …
Past, Present, Future, Always
* This blog is for Charlie, on her 2nd birthday. Gone, but not forgotten * Carry (verb): Support the weight of It’s a new calendar year and a new bruth: I hate not being able to say “she died last …
Hipster W@nker
Hipster (noun): A person who follows the latest trends and fashions, especially those regarded as being outside the cultural mainstream I really enjoyed my late 20’s, slipping into my 30’s. I used to be someone quite unrecognisable from this recurrent …
What To Say
Delicate (adjective): Fine or precise in action or execution A fellow loss mum wrote an article for Baby Loss Awareness Week, it was a “what not to say” to a bereaved mother. I thought it was spot on. But, as …
An Open Letter
Inexplicable (adjective): Unable to be explained or accounted for Dear several good people, On my stronger days, I tell myself that you surprised me. On gentle days, I ponder how you disappointed me. On the harshest ones, I feel you …
Four Trying Years
Quadrennium (noun): A specified period of four years This new month marks four years of us trying for a baby. Four trying years. Trying for years. F-O-U-R Y-E-A-R-S 80% of our first TTC lustrum 48 months 208 weeks 1461 days …
Mondays
Blue Monday (noun): A Monday that is depressing or trying especially because of the return to work and routine after a weekend I always struggle with grief-filled Mondays, my counsellor suggested that it was because Summer died on a Monday, but …
Two Steps Forwards
Path (noun): The course or direction in which a person is moving This year I said I wanted to move forward. Given that we are already one-third of the way through this year (seriously, how did that happen?!), now seems …