Guilty (adjective): Justly chargeable with a particular fault or error Opening Statement I write because it helps me to process all my feelings, to assess what’s really wrong. Yesterday, I felt so low, I didn’t even want to write. That’s …
Baby Loss Awareness Quiz
Awareness (noun): Concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or development I’ve been thinking about what to do for Baby Loss Awareness Week 2020. Last year (was it really only a year ago?), I outed myself on Facebook …
I Hate (the EPA)U
Trauma (noun): A deeply distressing or disturbing experience URGH. I had to return to the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit (EPAU) today. Even though: I’m not pregnant I have so many traumatic memories of the place It’s a couple of hundred …
My Old Self
Future (noun): Time regarded as still to come She sits in a tea shop, tucked away in a corner. Baklava on a plate, book in her lap. I walk in, face masked, heart shielded. She glances up, smiles. I look …
Too High A Price
Payment-in-kind (Finance): The use of a good or service as payment instead of cash Sometimes, I get a thought or a phrase stuck in my head and it goes round and round, so I thought I’d write it down: We …
The Final Taboo
Ball and chain (noun): A heavy metal ball secured by a chain to the leg of a prisoner. Used to convey the idea that something is a crippling encumbrance This morning I’ve revisited the “Am I even a Mum?” frame …
The Middle Child
The middle child (syndrome): A psychological condition where a child, who is the middle one in between two siblings, feels left out Today I’d like to talk about My Baby. My Baby who doesn’t always get a lot of airtime: classic middle child …
Labels
Taboo (adjective): A subject prohibited or restricted by social custom Some labels you can’t choose: I’m female, I’m in my 30’s, I’m of Indian origin. Some you can: I work in the City of London, I love to travel. Some …
A Pathetic
Apathetic (adjective): Showing or feeling no interest, enthusiasm or concern I care about so little at the moment, so little about the things that used to fill my days – social occasions, trips away, family drama, birthday presents, politics – …
Out Loud
Sheltered (adjective): Protected from difficulties or unpleasant realities I’ve been vocal about baby loss… From the privacy of my own home. I’ve written about how it all feels… From the security of my desk and computer monitor. I’ve touched people …